The little things that count...

My 18 year old daughter has spent most of the past 3 weeks with friends.   She came home last night for the first night in what seems forever (I saw her on Christmas day, and she was home 2 nights last week).   Her words “Hi Mommy. I missed you” were music to my ears. I like to know my kids are happy to see me and come home. A few nights ago she messaged me about her father. “He’s such an asshole” was how the conversation started. He had posted to her facebook timeline “Why can’t I get your mom here. Ask her” (all in caps lock). She deleted the message and didn’t reply to him.   And that is the very reason why I had to block him – he was always posting some crap on my timeline.   I told her to ignore him, and if he confronts her about it, he must phone me – he has my number!!! But he was probably drunk when he sent it. He recently took my son fishing along the side of the highway – a known dangerous spot (druggies, hoboes, murders etc).   She went to find him and told him o

Every artist/ performer and other creative person has come across this at least once in their life... The famous "we're offering you the perfect platform to show your talent... You'll be getting great exposure for your talent". Sound familiar? Either you've used it, or you've been on the receiving end.

That's a comment I've got a lot over the past few weeks.  I dyed my hair purple and cut it much shorter than it's been in years. It's really short (but not the first time I've gone so short). Amazing how doing that little thing has people telling me I'm brave.  It's hair.  It's not forever.  I can change it any time I want. It grows back. It does not have a lasting effect on my life.  But things I've experienced in my past have often had lasting effects. A friend said something that makes so much sense.  People are affected by what they see.  So my hair is "in their face" and a reality. Most people want courage to do things.  Maybe because I've experienced so much struggle that I've overcome, I find something like this easy to do.  I'm showing people that I'm courageous enough to face things.  Maybe people's reactions are less about aesthetics (they either love or hate it), and more about facing their own demons.

Last year I was lucky enough to become the proud owner of my late gran's sewing machine (I was using my mother's machine - she had to call me to use it!!) I have a rather nifty setup. Nothing spectacular, but a nice little spot to work.  It's the sewing corner so I don't have to pack anything away.  Just cover up until next time.

Its rather amusing to see how people invite Karma into their lives.  If you're not sure how Karma works, best leave her alone... If you know without a doubt that you are 100% on the right path, then by all means invite Karma.  But if you are not sure, or think you are right (because you want to be), maybe don't invite her... When you have tried to steal somebody's intellectual property, then turn around and ask Karma to do her thing after they have taken it away from you... Don't be surprised when it backfires, and Karma does do her thing. Let me me break down this concept that you may not understand: in·tel·lec·tu·al prop·er·ty noun Law noun: intellectual property ; noun: intellectualproperty a work or invention that is the result of creativity, such as a manuscript or a design, to which one has rights and for which one may apply for a patent, copyright, trademark, etc.

This week is the "October Break" school holiday.  Only a week long, but a break nonetheless. I get to sleep in about an hour later every day because I don't have to be up at 5:20 (in time to get my son to his school bus by 6:15). Every morning this week, my "puppy" (he's a year old now and huge) wakes me up by hitting my bed.  Normally I can't get this dog up in the mornings. He is the laziest dog I've known! He wants to sleep in until 6 - or later.  But this week, he's woken me up every morning. He hits my bed - multiple times.  He just sits and hits his paw on the bed. I was getting very annoyed because my one chance to get a little lie-in has been taken away by a dog!! This morning I had a different thought.  Maybe he's not trying to annoy me, but maybe he's actually got a built-in timer. Although he's not always very bright, he's not a stupid dog - he's been taught a few little tricks within minutes (sit, paw, lie do

My daughter recently had her matric farewell.  Yes it was expensive and over the top, but when you seldom get chances to spoil your children, you do what you can to make it work. Not quite a "Pauper's Budget", but only because I was lucky enough to have the financial and physical help from family.

It's quite funny when people feel you've done them in. They go out of their way to bad mouth you to others.  Tell stories to their friends (who will believe them because stories were told about you from the beginning so these people chose not to get to know the person you are). I always remember something an ex used to say:  If you badmouth the person you are with, it says more about who you are, than the person you are talking about.  Some people don't see that.  They prefer to see the fabricated story.  But true colours always show. It may take days, it may take years.  Those colours always come out in the end. I've had a recent taste of this again.  People who chose to believe stories about me.  Lies. Lies spread by somebody who was supposed to be close to me.  But instead of playing victim and worrying about these people who can't be called friends, I carried on with my life, and worried about those who actually take the time to get to know me, and accept me

People often feel that they have the right to tell others (especially friends and family) that their weight is not ideal.  Too skinny. Too fat. Your arms are flabby. You look pregnant. You look starving. Should you be eating that? Have you tried eating celery instead? I had a family member who felt it was their duty to advise me that I'm overweight.  I'm not sure why people don't think you can see yourself.  I look at myself every day.  I know the size clothes I buy.  One day I had enough and my reply back: Do you like being called skinny? No? Then why do you think it's ok to tell me I'm fat. Do you not think I can't see what I look like? I'm happy with myself however I look. If you aren't happy with how you look, it's not my problem. Or its a case of you think I'm unhappy because you couldn't handle being overweight, not my problem. We all have our own bodies and if you're happy with yours, why can't I be happy with mine. She'

My daughter is in her last year at school.  She changed her mind halfway through the year about what to study - right at that point when she should be starting to apply for further study. Never did it occur to me to insist she continue with her previous plans.  Her plans changed because she realized her passion.  She wants to be a paramedic.  Perhaps its the fact that I wanted to do exactly the same thing (I had never told her this - she started high school and joined the first aid team, never knowing I used to do first aid as a teenager).  My teachers and parents convinced me it wasn't the thing to do. Some told me I couldn't because it's a man's job. Some told me it's a nothing job. I listened and went on to do admin. I'm still stuck there. Many people are dead set against her studying paramedics.  She's so tiny they're not sure she'll manage. I assure them that I am 100% behind her choice.  And if she comes home from her first day on the job and

I class myself as an introvert. No really... But many people disagree and assume I'm extroverted. Just because I can teach a class, speak in front of people and perform in front of crowds, doesn't mean I find it easy. I actually often try find a way out. I've had the comments: I wish I was as confident and extroverted as you. Fact is, it's confidence that gets me out there.  I often prefer to be alone.  But I like people too. If confused me to the point I wasn't even sure.  Then I discovered there is such a thing as and extroverted introvert.

60-something year old Granny to her 18 year granddaughter "Where are you off to?" "Nowhere, why?" "Why are you wearing make-up?" "Because it makes me feel good" *HUFF* "You kids these days wear far too much make-up"

Body Shaming is not ok. I've dealt with it for the larger part of my life. I would never insult anyone who is at least trying to consciously make a difference to their life. I may give a condescending look when an overweight person tells me "I hardly eat and keep gaining" while sitting eating a packet of crisps and a chocolate, while drinking a coke (and you've never seen them move more than from their desk to their car). I guess I may be silently judging them, dying to tell them things that I also get told all the time: then eat a celery stick if you’re hungry... Do you know how much sugar/ carbs/ fat etc that *insert bad food choice here* contains... But they know they’re overweight and they probably also know where and why they’ve gone wrong, and nobody but themselves will be the reason for making a change in their life.

I looked out my kitchen window yesterday morning.  I spotted a beautiful blue Starling in the garden.  Stunning. A sure sign warmer weather is on it's way. As I had a busy Sunday set out ahead of me, I went to finish up getting ready. While brushing my teeth, I had a thought, "I wonder if we have another tube of toothpaste?" So while still brushing my teeth I walked through to the kitchen to check.  As I looked out the window and saw the same Starling, but this time in my dog's mouth. No!!! Not wanting even more mess to clean up I dropped my toothbrush on the counter and ran outside to get the bird out his mouth.  Then I noticed, the bird was watching me. It was still alive!!! Aaaargh.... Considering the size and power of his jaws, I was surprised to see the bird was alive. By now my Koda (my one year old rescue dog), had gone to sit in the empty pond with his newly caught bird.  So down on the ground I go (toothpaste smeared across my face), and in his confusion

Over the past 10 years I have been in a few relationships.  You'd think I spot all the warning signs and take heed.  My cousin asked me if I saw the red flags in the beginning.  Of course I did.  And my head told me to run.  But I think I was so desperate to feel loved after being used I ignored every single one of those warnings. And they popped up all the time.  Unfortunately by the time I start questioning them, it's too late - I'm in too deep. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy being single.  I don't know how long it will last.  You just never know what's lurking in the future.  And it could be another dud, or it could be destiny.

I feel like I am the Queen of bad relationships.   I get told I am the problem, and realized I am the problem, just not in the way “they” meant. Reading an article a few days ago, I realize what I’ve done - after some failed relationships - is lower the bar. I haven’t felt worthy of love and affection and all things good, so I lowered the bar and accepted what came my way.   I will no longer accept that way of thinking.   If you cannot accept me as I am, then you are not worth my time and effort.   Nobody else can define me.   I am me – and only I can define ME. People often regret their bad choices and wish it never happened.   But I know that with each of these failed relationships, I just come out the other side stronger.      I have learned... That can love somebody with all your heart. Deeply and entirely.   You can also fall out of love with that person and never look back. I have learned... That good people can turn bad.   People who were on the right pa

You're stuck behind that awfully slow driver on your way to work (needing to drop of the child along the way)... "Grrr, why are you driving so slow!?!" Then they turn up the next road and turn back along the slip. "you could've taken the previous road - it would've got you there faster, and I'd be further ahead".  You can now drive at your normal speed again.  A few blocks up ahead, coming up to the harsh bend in the road (turning right), a car misjudges the bend and comes around the bend - ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD - your side.  "Wrong side of the road!" your 11 year old "backseat driver" shouts at them. "And that's why we got stuck behind that slow car a few minutes ago". I often thank the Universe when an inconvenience turns out to be a saving grace.  It's the reason why I don't revel in the rage, but have my say, and stay calm. Last weekend, I got a call from my ex who needed to renew the car lic

If you know my son, or have seen other posts about him, you'll know he's quite a character.  From young, he's loved putting on my shoes. Not just any shoes - the high heeled / blinged ones.  I had a photo of him  (HAD - lost it when I dropped my phone) - probably a year or so ago wearing a glitter cowboy hat, blue boa and putting on my high heeled boots.  I don't discourage it - he enjoys dressing up, and he has very strong feelings about his sexuality (he's 11 and he strongly insists he likes girls).  I always tell him, no matter what I love him. We think he may just be destined to one day be on stage.  My daughter has commented that if he becomes "Lola, the Show Girl" she'll go watch every single performance. One of his favourite movies of all time is Kinky Boots . It ends with the song Yes Sir I can Boogie by Baccara Oh, yes sir, I can boogie But a I need a certain song I can boogie, boogie-boogie All night long Yea you know the song...

We often take for granted what we have.  We all have our problems and we all complain about things in our lives we (mostly) feel are beyond our control. On our way to my dad's 70th birthday party on Saturday night I stopped outside the bottle store and asked my daughter to run in for me (to this day she has not been asked for her ID - I wonder if it's that they just believe her, or they're happy for the sales). She is 18 by the way... While waiting outside in the car, I had a "common visitor" to my car window.  A lady holding a range of socks, dish cloths and a few other items.  Having read something recently about how these ladies are often treated, I wound down my window and greeted her and asked for how much for the socks. It's winter.  My feet get cold in winter. Well... everything gets cold in winter, but I like my feet well covered. "R30 each ma'am" she replied. "I'll take a pair of blue and one black".  They're

There was a time, not so long ago when Koda was half the size of Bella.  Bella is our 10 year old Sharpei x pit bull girl. Not officially rescued from a rescue centre, but on her way to the shelter when I took her and her brother Odie (Odie went missing last year August and despite hectic searched, we never found him - presumed stolen from our property).  Koda is our newest rescue in the household.  We adopted him from Pet Rescue in December when he was a bout 14 weeks old.  Not sure how Bella would react to him, we slowly introduced them and she seemed quite chuffed to have a new friend after being alone for 4 months.  Odie was always the Alpha, but Bella decided it was her turn, and has always shown him "who's the boss".  At the age of 8-9 months old, Koda is now twice the size of Bella, but neither of them takes note of that fact. We're still not sure what Koda is mixed with.  We have a few suggestions: Labrador / Great Dane / Weimaraner... Being a puppy still,

Some mornings seem worse than others.  It almost seems like people forget how to drive. This mornings alone I encountered 2 strange episodes.  I had just dropped my son off at the bus.  It's around 6:35am. Not too many people on the roads, but enough... This does not mean you do not need to stop at a stop sign or ignore road rules and signals.  I was driving back home on a straight road with no stops.  The stop signs are all from the side roads.  I signalled that I would be turning  right at the next street (you know with that little orange blinky light called an indicator).  A car screamed up to the stop where I was about to turn, obviously planning on continuing through (even though there were 2 cars directly behind me).  He stopped at an angle over the entire road - blocking my entry into the road.  Ever-stubborn me was not about to let this road hog get his way, and even as I turned, he pulled forward, then realized I was not about to let him through.  I squeezed my little

I have a really bad habit of biting my nails. I bite my nails every day.  Not like I used to when I was younger (but mostly because biting nails beyond the tip becomes extremely painful). My nails never look pretty. I used to get them done, but I'm a very hands on person so they never last long.  And the second I get a break or lift, that's it - in my mouth and they're off. I've had a few funny experiences... Sitting in my car one day, biting my nails. Minding my own business. I hear a "toot" from the car next to me.  I look at the driver.  He wags his finger at me, then proceeds to show me what I look like.  I laughed and waved. Another time, somebody just leaned towards me and said, "you know, when you reach the elbow it's too late".  My OCD cousin couldn't bear watching me for another second one day and said, "do you know how much dirt is underneath your nails".  My reply left him shocked (and probably repulsed): "

You hear the saying your whole life, and you know exactly what it means, but you don't always fully appreciate the accuracy until you realize that you keep getting told something, but it never happens. If you make a promise, stick to it.  If you tell somebody you're going to do something - Do it! That's it.  Don't make excuses. If you haven't met your end of the "deal", then don't say it in the first place.  If you can not carry through with every little promise you make, the best thing to do is be honest and rather say "I don't want to do it", or even if you do want to but not sure if you'll be able to... "I'd love to be able to promise that I can do it, but I just don't think I can". I've had promises made on my behalf... Yes, seriously.  I've had phone calls and been told "I was told you'd be able to help me this week with xyz ".  I usually stand there with my mouth hanging open wonderi

I've been staying in my house for 10 years.  Since I've lived there, I've had so many wonderful plans for the house. My parents helped me tile the kitchen soon after I'd moved in (I leaned against the tiled wall and 3 tiles went crashing down behind me).  Another few knocks on another wall and about 20 tiles fell down (some attached to each other by grout, but not to the wall!!).  They had a few tile left over from their tiling job, so bought a few extra boxes and sorted out the kitchen,. Over the past few years my house is showing signs of wear and tear.  I have an old house - you know the type with pressed ceilings and wooden floors (with "crawling space" beneath the flooring).  With the help of my parents, we have so far repaired an entire collapsed floor (mostly my dad's handiwork), and fixed a  few of the other collapsing floor (due to damp and termites). The current job is painting and kitting out my daughter's bedroom.  There's so much

I was recently cutting a gem squash - something I usually take a little care with after many years ago working with a woman who cut her thumb off cutting a gem squash!! I usually get a good grip, stick the tip of the knife in slowly cut around. I was about to mention this woman' freak accident to a friend who was in the kitchen with me, when my knife slipped and slipped back up again and instead stuck the sharp piece of the knife into the palm of my left hand.  Not pleasant, but no major injury - just one of those kitchen injuries that stings for the next few days. Inspecting the site of the "scratch" (that's all it looked like - a deep scratch), I  noticed another scar which I gained a few years back.  I was cutting an avocado and trying to get the pip out.  I must've been daydreaming for a moment - I mean who tries to remove the pip while holding the avo in the other hand - with a sharp knife!? The knife slipped on the slippery avo pip, went through the av

It often is those little things that count.  A little while back we were experiencing day after day of rain.  Much needed rain after the dry spell we'd had, but rain does sometimes start getting you down. I was sitting at my desk at work and one of our supplier's drivers arrived with brochures. He walked in with a huge smile on his face: something you wouldn't expect from somebody who's job involves driving and currently doing it in the rain where many an idiot likes to play the fool. "I bring with me, blessings.  Blessings of the Earth" His words to me flipped my day and turned a dreary outlook into a sunny one. One seemingly insignificant person who sees the good in things made a difference to my day, and most likely many others along his travels.  It doesn't take much to bring a smile to another's face - a smile, a cheerful hello, a motivational note in your loved one's lunch box, or a lollipop on a co-worker's desk... the little

Driving in the rain a few mornings back, the car windows started misting up.  I pressed a few buttons in the car, and it was smooth sailing again.  One button was the front winder de-mister, another for the back. Another button to wind down the passenger window and another for air.  One click of the wiper switch (up) for front wipers and another click forward for the back wiper.  It made me think about times have changed - rather quickly if you think about it.  When I was younger, if the car misted up, mom had to wipe the window with a tissue she dug from her bag and we were all told to wind our windows down (sometimes a few times during the drive).  Everything was manual back then - and back then was only the 1980's. Dad would do all the driving for family trips - whether to the shops or on a long trip. Mom only drove during the week - taking us 3 girls to school (on second thought, Dad used to take us to school), fetching us after school and any extra lessons (or other a

Receptionists must be (unknown to me) the biggest liars around... I have been a receptionist for the past 4 years for the same company. People never believe me.  Recently our phone lines were out.  People were walking in and telling me they've been phoning all morning "yes unfortunately our phone lines are out.  Went out with the big storm yesterday" the words fall on deaf ears.  No, it rings and rings and then just cuts off. "Yes, because the lines are out of order" (deep breath, big smile) Consultant J walks out to greet them as asks if they've been waiting long. "No, but I've been trying to phone all morning, and there's been no answer" "Oh" says consultant J "our phones lines are out of order.  Hit by lightning in the storm of yesterday" "Oh dear, that's why" says customer. Inside I'm yelling "I TOLD YOU THAT!!!" but keep a smile and carry on working... Another one I often encount

...or as I was going to call the post - The Dog Box. Mornings are starting to get a little darker.  I dislike coming to the realization that winter is in fact coming.  I woke up this morning really not in the mood for the day, but knowing I don't have a choice, I got up and got ready.  I need to leave 6:12am - by 6:15 latest to get Kayden to his bus on time. Start the car.  The car gives me a new message today "STOP".  That can't be good... "Check coolant" it tells me.  "What the heck is coolant?".  Anyway, I run back inside, grab my purse and run back out.  Head to the bus stop - which happens to be at a garage (filling station). While waiting for bus, I noticed the "picture" on the error message was the same as the oil. Hmm, that might explain the burning smell I've been smelling in the car.  Sorted - the oil was indeed empty. Thank goodness I have a car that tells me these things...  Paid the attendant and headed back home for

Part of my morning routine these days consists of walking Damian to school.. The reason we walk is because his school is less than 300 metres from the house. Only problem is my dog, Bella.  Bella is 10 years old... She has a little problem with people going for a walk without her.  She finds a way to get out of our yard and follow us.  The very first day I walked Damian, I found her running around sniffing the ground trying to follow me.  We live on a corner stand between 2 extremely busy roads.  From that day on I decided she would have to come with.  Along with Koda, our "Africanis" puppy - now 6 months old (we're not really sure what breed he is mixed with but we've been offered many suggestions - the top few being Labrador, Great Dane, Weimeraner and Boerbull).

As someone who would like to consider herself a writer, I find - more often than not - when it comes to putting pen to paper (or these days fingers to keyboard), I either can't find a thing to write about...Or, I can't put into words what I want to say (I honestly can't find the right words - sometimes the most basic of English words - a language I have spoken my entire life)... Or I just don't feel like writing . I should start listening to people around me... I'm generally a good listener, but I tend to switch off when stories start sounding too bizarre.  But I reckon it would be worth my while to listen to their crap drivel. It would give me great inspiration in my writing. What astounds me is the way these people are so confident in spewing these words out, that many people find themselves believing them.  Which is probably the greatest form of encouragment to these Elaborators. The more people believe, the more they believe their own stories... which means t

Half my family suffer from some form of OCD.  Washing hands.... This mustn't be done like this, but precisely like that.... Checking doors (not just one or twice, but sometimes going back home to check the door for the fourth time)... This list goes on... Years ago I dated a guy who was OCD to the point of being quite painful.  I've never had an issue with feet on the couch (as long as you're not filthy, by all means get comfortable).  "No feet on the couch!"... "Don't sit on that couch" (even with the throw on it)... "The cats can't go in the house, their hair goes on everything" (the cats never did like him)...  I could list 100 things and still never get through all the OCD statements he made. Even I like the toothpaste to be pushed from the bottom, but with kids around, you're never going to win that battle... But most mornings, I still push the toothpaste up, and then use it, knowing it will be pushed from just below the to

It's been months since I've written a blog post.  I've had nothing to write about.  Nothing that stirred inside me.  Nothing inspiring.  Nothing thought provoking.  Nothing. We chase things our whole lives.  Always looking for something to make us happy.  Sometimes we fall into such a deep, dark depression, we may not even realize it at first.