"Hey, Thunder Thighs"

Body Shaming is not ok. I've dealt with it for the larger part of my life.

I would never insult anyone who is at least trying to consciously make a difference to their life.

I may give a condescending look when an overweight person tells me "I hardly eat and keep gaining" while sitting eating a packet of crisps and a chocolate, while drinking a coke (and you've never seen them move more than from their desk to their car). I guess I may be silently judging them, dying to tell them things that I also get told all the time: then eat a celery stick if you’re hungry... Do you know how much sugar/ carbs/ fat etc that *insert bad food choice here* contains... But they know they’re overweight and they probably also know where and why they’ve gone wrong, and nobody but themselves will be the reason for making a change in their life.

I also know how it feels to be judged because you decide that today you will have a piece of cake.  The looks, the comments...

I’ve always been bigger than my peers. Struggling with weight. No matter what I ate... Or didn't eat.  Even at my thinnest, I was far from tiny, but I was certainly a much healthier weight.  My kids were recently looking at old photo’s and their comments were mostly “Mom!! You were so thin”. And I might add, this was post having babies, so no blaming the dreaded baby fat... My weight gain was mostly due to me not putting my foot down and being led on a fattening up session by an ex.  My main problem – I love food, so I’m struggling to lose that weight and now that I’ve hit my forties, I’m finding it a lot more difficult.

My son was body shamed by an ex.  He decided to take it upon himself to try force my son to lose his weight.  That resulted in the same thing that happened to me years ago going through a similar experience. More weight gain! I’ve been there.  My son knows he’s big.  He makes jokes about his "man boobs" and knows his belly dance makes me laugh.  But we both know for the sake of his health, he needs to lose some weight.

I can’t control what or how he eats when he’s not with me, but I am trying to get him to understand that only he can make the difference.  I know I’ve eaten something I shouldn’t have, and then tried to hide it.  But who was I hiding it from? I know he also struggles to control what he eats when he goes to his paternal grandparents.  I don’t know how many times I was pouring myself or my kids water when their grandmother would say, “Don’t you rather want Coke?”.  I could do my nut!! I know his eating habits go out of whack when he’s there.  It doesn’t help that his father has (and continues to this day) turn him off of vegetables by telling him they’re gross.

Recently him and I embarked on a 30 day hula hoop challenge.  We’ve strayed off once or twice, but we’ve done really well.  It helps having an accountability partner.  I usually tell him, “ok, exercise time” and he’s there. One of the days I was exhausted.  I knew the exercise would do me good, but I couldn’t get myself motivated.  When I mentioned to him I didn’t feel like it, his reaction forced me to do it.  “Aaaaw” with a sad face. So off we went to do our little workout in the garden. I’ve watched him especially start blossoming.  His body has loosened up. He’s become more flexible. And he’s been learning new tricks and moves. He hates squats, but attempts then every now and then. His words to me: “Mom, when the 30 days is finished can we please carry on doing this”.  He knows it’s doing him good. I’m not sure if he’s lost weight.  I’ve had commets that I have, but I’m not stressing too much about the weight loss for now.  We’re feeling good, and we’re feeling stronger. And fitter. That’s all that matters. Just because we're big, doesn't mean we can't be fit and healthy.

If you're not happy with yourself, try do something about it.  Shaming somebody else will not make you feel better, and it certainly won't make them feel better.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses and have no right to judge somebody because they look or act differently to you.