The little things that count...

Following on the first part of this blog post where I mainly addressed my anxiety... Everybody experiences their anxiety, depression, bipolar and any other mental health issued differently. The trick is to try accept that people really do experience these problems, and they are real to them even if you don't believe they could possibly be so bad. Depression is not just about being sad. Most of the time when I have a depressive episode I'm not sad, or have anything to be sad about. My mom calls it my "dark place". I call it fighting with my demons.

If you haven't heard before, I'll remind you. I suffer from depression and anxiety (and more specifically - social anxiety). Today is one of those days where it's taken all my energy just to keep breathing. I smile and carry on with my day like nothing is wrong, but I'm struggling to breath, walk and talk. My heart is beating through my chest and I'm paranoid. I'm convinced I'm being watched. Most days I can keep it together, and most of the time, I really am together. But things like this pounce at you from nowhere. And when you've gone months without an episode, it takes you by surprise.

It's sad that so many people spend half their lives trying to become the "perfect size". I mean, if it's what you want to do, then go for it. But if you struggle with your weight, and in order to lose a few kilo's you become miserable, then is it really worth it? I'm not the kind of person who wants to go to the gym every day or watch every calorie I eat. Some people are. I'm not, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. 

Sometimes we need a reminder that all those little things you do for others really do come back to you in a big way. And often what meant so much to the person receiving was something really small to the person giving. Cosmic Karma. People tend to use Karma in a bad way, but I've been using it in a positive way for years. Amazing how people always seem to think Karma is a bad thing. We get told what goes around comes around. That's Karma, but people seem to prefer this way of saying or hearing the phrase.

I'm already hearing the background mutters. Wooing? What's wooing? Do men still attempt to woo a woman these days? I'm afraid I'm yet to find out if they even know the meaning.

It's not that I like catching people out. I just hate lying. I don't lie so I hate being called out on a lie that doesn't exist. I've taken to accepting that I know my truth and that's all that matters, but it still hurts a lot to be accused of things I never did. I remember knowing someone years ago who had obviously managed to get away with so many untruths. They may be small, but when there's one after another, it gets too much to handle. Funny though when you catch them out on something they've even started believing they get upset with you. You're suddenly the bad one for crushing their dreams.