Get it off your chest

Half the point of this blog was to put down in words what I'm thinking. I don't do it as much as I should. Mostly my excuse is I'm busy with other things.
I haven't felt such betrayal in a while. And the weird thing is I'm not sure why I'm feeling betrayal. Nobody actually betrayed me.
I also feel fury, rage.
I guess it's because I'm finally doing something I really want to do. And today it was taken away from me. Not for good, but just this week.



I attend a Spiritual Development class. I've been enjoying the class, but can't help but feel that a lot of my class mates don't take it seriously.
Today was a prime example. So many people cancelled tonight's class, and rather than just letting it be as should - you miss a class, sorry for you... you miss out - the class got cancelled. As few of us voiced our opinions that it's unfair that those of us committed must lose out. Those who cancelled felt they were being judged by life getting in the way. I wasn't judging, but I questioned why when given the option to come to class or miss out, more people chose to cancel.
Hence the betrayal. This is something I want to do so badly. I look forward to Wednesday nights being class night. I make sure everything is prepared and ready for the kids so they can eat and I don't need to worry about them. All that is organised on a Tuesday night in preparation.

At this stage I'm feeling that of the few people that really want to do this are being unfairly treated by those who don't (those who are there "just to see"). I feel like sitting out of future classes, and attending the next workshop, but that's so far away - like next year!! Why should I have to put my dreams on hold because others are standing in my way.  I can honestly say that those who seem 100% committed make up ¼ of the whole class.

I know I need some time to calm down before I make any rush decisions, but this may be a difficult one I have to do - for myself. I may need to wait it out and attend a class with others who are as committed to it as I am.


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