Fair Weather Friends

In general I'm much happier these days.  Busier. Hectic, in fact. Life waits for no-one.

This week I'm having a particular bad week.  I'm feeling terribly down. Everything is getting me down.

Artist unknown. If you know of the artist, please let me know so I can rightfully credit them

That's not always such a bad thing. This week I was scrolling through social media and I realized that although I have many friends, I don't have very many good friends.  Friends who I thought were good friends don't share their day to day life with me. I find out most of their happenings on social media.  But when they hit a speed-bump in their life, I'm the first person they contact.  Almost like they contact me because I'm probably that friend who has had the most crap to deal with over the past years, therefore I'm the one with the answers as to how to deal with the crap they're going through.  Obviously I'll always oblige and help them through their situation, only to be discarded once they're done with me.  Generally while discussing their current problems, they never once ask how I am.

My mom would point them out to me when I was younger. Fair Weather Friends.  Only around when they need you or something you can give them.

And before you start thinking, "yea but people are probably so sick of hearing about your drama"... I'm not that person who broadcasts my problems to the world.  I have exes slandering me on social media - because "they can".  I do not feel the need to broadcast my private life, and I don't feel the need to dispute incorrect "facts". If you haven't taken the time to find out my side, then you're obviously not that friend that I need in my life.

It may not always seem like it, but I have a big heart. I seem hard and closed off sometimes (that's me trying to protect myself against the world), but I have feelings and mostly I find those feelings getting hurt, and its easier to build up walls and pretend it doesn't affect me). I am an Empath. My natural instinct when seeing someone in need of "fixing": I don't just want to help but feel the need to take on their problems.  As if I didn't have enough of my own.  In doing this I fall prey to many emotional vampires who suck the life out of me.

If you're not sure what an Empath is, I found the most interesting article and I pretty much ticked off every single item: http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/What-Empath-42979685

As much as I want to put my foot down and form boundaries, I struggle because "they're my friends".  I tell myself, "If they're my friends, surely they'd want to know how I am and include me in their lives..." Unfortunately I don't have the ability to cut off all my fair-weather-friends, because I care about them all.  So I just carry on, pretend everything is ok.

Note: I am not looking for sympathy.  I don't want to have a sudden influx of messages from friends/ fake friends claiming their lives have been too busy to check in with me. I know we all have lives to live and we're all busy. I am happy and content.  I have my family.  They have always been there and always will be. I know I can always count on them.