Goodbye 2018

Every year, we reach the end of the year and comment about what a bad year it was, and that the next year will be better. We repeat the sentiment. "What a bad year. Next year will be better."

I can honestly say that this year has been one of the worst I've ever experienced. And I've experienced a lot of pain and really bad times in my life.

Those bad times are usually just life happening. Divorce, financial strain, emotional break-downs. You always manage to pick yourself up and move on.



The past month for me has been awful. But the "little insignificant things" just seem so much more insignificant. Vet bills, my lawnmower breaking, the geyser bursting, the fridge packing up - all in one month!! But I got through it and moved on without another thought. Those are life's little bumps in the road that you forget in a few weeks.

My mother's brother passed away at the beginning of the month. In the same week, my mom's sister was diagnosed with breast cancer (and started her treatment too).

As the month (and the year) starting drawing to a close, I thought we were moving past the worst of it.

On Thursday last week, we got the call that my father in law (even though my ex husband and I are divorced, I still refer to them as my in-laws) had suffered a mild heart attack. He was in hospital and would undergo surgery in the morning.

Friday - the surgery went well. He had 3 stents in his heart and we were all excited to hear he'd be home the next day.

But something went wrong. My mother in law left the hospital and he seemed to be doing ok. He was sitting up and eating his dinner when he suddenly stopped and just stared up at the ceiling. That's how the nurses found him. It seems he suffered a severe heart attack and was not coming back from this one. The hospital phoned my mother in law and told her to urgently come to the hospital. When she arrived they wouldn't allow her in the room. They were working on trying to resuscitate him.

My daughter was the first to get the call from her father. She was sitting all alone in an unknown house (she house-sits in the holidays). She called me in a state and in all that, my son realized what had happened. We got to my daughter and from there, we had no idea what to do. It was useless to go to the hospital as there was nothing to do there (and to be honest, I didn't want the kids to see their grandpa in that state).

My children have always had a very close relationship with their grandpa. He's always been their rock. Their dad hasn't worked since my son was 6 weeks old (he's 14 years old now). Their grandpa pays "maintenance" every month. He has put my daughter through her studies, and they were in the process of discussing the next step of her studies. He helped them with their maths homework and helped them make difficult decisions. They saw their grandparents every weekend. And many afternoons too. They've been a huge part of their life.

It's going to be a tough time without him. Things weren't supposed to go this way. He was supposed to be around for years to come. I always tell the kids their grandpa will probably outlive us all. He was always on the go. Always busy with one thing or another.
When I fetched my son on Thursday, he was outside watering the garden. From the looks of things, he's been at work that day. That is the image I keep seeing. My children have both said they're glad they have Christmas day as their last memory of him, and not an image of him in hospital with tubes and pipes.

Sadly that wasn't even the last of it.  This morning, Sunday - 2 days after the passing of my father in law, my mother in law got a call that her brother had passed away too. The passing of her husband was a huge shock. Something none of us expected. To be honest, I'm worried about her getting on without him - he was the matriarch of the family. He was what kept everyone and everything together. Even though she doesn't see her brother much (he lives in East London SA, we live in Jozi), they spoke often. My daughter said her Nana is in a terrible state today. Just too much for her to handle right now.

I know this another horrible thing we'll all most past eventually, but for now all I'm going to say is goodbye 2018, please let 2019 be the year where things start coming together for all of us.